Saturday, June 30, 2012

Inside The Realm of Janos

Imagine the Realm of Janos novels are turned into a TV show on your favorite cable channel. Imagine that you can cast any actor or actress into the parts. Imagine that the actresses from that series are interviewed. This is the unedited transcript of that imaginary interview.

Unedited Transcript. Realm of Janos Female Cast 

Air Date 2/12/12

HOST:  Welcome to Inside.  Today we are lucky enough to have the ladies from the cast of the new number one paid cable show, Realm of Janos in our studios.  Welcome, one and all.  Let me take a moment to introduce all of you to our audience, not that any of you really need an introduction.

First, we have Natalie who plays Ielle.  Natalie is an academy award winning actress who has taken on this sexy drama on cable.

Next to her is Alyssa, a veteran of sitcoms and cable dramas since she was a child, now as a woman she’s playing the classic mean girl, Mayia.

Ali has had a number of smaller parts but has become a huge break out star in her role as Ovia.  Ladies, again, welcome.


HOST:  Let’s begin, shall we?  Let’s start with you, Natalie.  What made you decide to try something on cable?  You’re an academy award winning actress, you can probably pick anything you want to do, right?

NATALIE/IELLE:  Yes, actually, I can pick anything I want, but I really wanted this.

HOST:  How did that come about?

NATALIE/IELLE:  Well, my agent says, I've got this great script for you, so I sit down to read it, I'm propped up in bed eating some ice cream, that's my little guilty pleasure, you know?  I’m wearing my nightgown, a little baby doll number with some thong panties. 

(audience oooohs, Natalie laughs and winks at guys in the audience).

Anyway, here I am, sitting in bed reading and at first I thought it said that I had to actually fuck the whole FUCKING village.  And if that's not bad enough, it is like, you know, right in the first two pages of the script.  I nearly choked and died on my ice cream right there.  I was sputtering and spitting it out.  I don't think those sheets are ever going to be the same again!

But then, you know, I was reading the whole thing, after the CPR and all that, and I thought, man, this is one cool script.  How many women get a chance to show this kind of side of themselves?  I mean, you know, the men own them and all, but look at these girls.  They're all, like, really cool in their own ways, and well, let's face it, those guys are just hot.  What woman doesn't want to be ravished now and then, right?  I get ravished every week and get paid for it too!" 

HOST:  So you didn’t care that it was cable and not the big screen?

NATALIE/IELLE:  Nope, not at all.

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  You know, there were all these restrictions, ‘cause even though we’re on cable there are still all these caveats ‘cause they were like “we don't want to be in the porn business,” so there's no, you know, male junk, which seems unfair, it's all R-rated movie stuff but it's still something.

NATALIE/IELLE:  And I was able to use my body double for a lot of the scenes, but there were more shots than I originally expected where, you know, I would have to be naked and I was kinda iffy about that, but the director and producers were really keen to work with me with those issues and it all kinda worked out. So yeah, some of those scenes where I'm naked are really me, so... eyes peeled, perverts!

HOST:  So, whenever we have guests on that have a steamy sex scene or two, we always have questions from our students on how that works.  And your show is a LOT of sex scenes.  What can you tell us about this?

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Well, they look better on camera than they do when you’re making them usually.  Right?

ALI/OVIA:  Oh yeah.  So many times when you’re filming you’re kinda self-conscious and usually the girl’s on top so you’re thinking, “I sure hope my ass looks good”.  But our co-stars are some damn fine men.  Damn fine, and in a few minutes I’m usually just able to be Ovia and lose myself in the scene.

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  And our ass is usually on display too.  In the pilot, we were under a lot of furs.  They weren’t sure how far they wanted to push things, you know.  So we're under these fake furs pretending to have just this wild sex and it got so hot and itchy and sweaty we finally asked if we could just get on top!  Then once we did the director and producers were like DAMN, we gotta go for it.

NATALIE/IELLE:  There's no feeling quite like watching your body double pretend to perform oral sex while you're on the sidelines providing your dialogue.

ALI/OVIA:  The scene where the men drink tea off my chest took forever. I can't stretch like that, I was wobbling the whole time and I wound up accidentally getting this fake tea all over their pants!  Wardrobe had to come out there with a blow dryer and fix them up before we could go on. 

I mean, there you are, ninety-nine percent topless in this little wisp of material and just wearing a little thong, stretched into a backbend, three guys resting cups on you, picking them up, talking, putting them down, muscles straining so you don’t spill- again.  Trying to keep a good expression on your face and be in character, it definitely isn’t easy.  And that’s not a scene where I even had any lines!

HOST:  Realm of Janos is the number one rated show on pay cable.  What do you think accounts for that? 

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  I think it’s the action.  The whole show just has a lot going on and a lot of depth. 

ALI/OVIA:  (laughs) Right.  That’s it.

NATALIE/IELLE:  Other shows you wait half a season for anything interesting to happen, and in this I'm naked before the opening credits start.  Then ten minutes in I'm getting fucked silly in front of the whole village, so, you know, we hit the ground running!

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Ok, ok, it is the sex, but it is more than that.  There’s a story and a plot too so that keeps people engaged from week to week. 

NATALIE/IELLE:  Everyone's making a big deal about the beautiful women in the show but c'mon, the men are HOT! Am I right?  That has to be some of the draw too, don’t you think?


HOST:  So what are some of the challenges of doing a show like this?

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Well, obviously even on cable we couldn't be as naked as often as it is in the books, so all of us girls get these amazing costumes, but we’re outta them quick, trust me! Thank god we shoot in a warm country!

ALI/OVIA:  They try to keep the heat up on the sound stage when we’re doing the interior shots too.  But man, that creek sure does get icy.  We’ve all had scenes with waterfalls and creeks and ponds and stuff.

NATALIE/IELLE:  Yeah, our writers seem to love those.  My first one, oh god!  I'm in this little pond and even though it is hot as hell outside, the water is downright icy.  My nipples are on high beam, you know?  I’m bare assed naked because even though they’re not going to get a full frontal shot, they’re going to cheat it pretty close so I can’t have anything on.  And they're all “wash sexily.” Uh, I dunno what that means. So I started doing a little wriggle and made a face and the director called cut, approached me and asked “um, do you need to pee?”

(audience laughs)

HOST:  There’s the famous line about not working with children or animals.  There are no children on your set but we do see a number of Janosean animals.  How does that work?

ALI/OVIA:  Those mareshi, man, that's a challenge.  They have us up on yaks then they do all this special effects stuff in post production to make them move more like horses.  Damn those things STINK!

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Natalie, you have to tell the story.  Come on!

NATALIE/IELLE:  Ok, ok, so, ya know, there are animals all over the place, you really have to watch where you step sometimes.  Then this one time... stop laughing, Ali!  This one time I was bent over, bare assed naked, of course, under that little skirt we wear.  With just a tiny nude thong, when we wear anything, and then I was expecting to hear my cue and instead, I got this huge tongue right up my crack!  Turns out that yak had a bit of thing for me!"

 (audience laughs)

Look, it... their tongue is so hot and wet and flat and gross, I mean-- the only way I can explain it is it felt like I was brushing against a large wet wallet. Like if you went swimming with it and left it to dry on the beach, and then you sat on it without knowing.  Wet suede.  Yeah, that’s it.

And really, I can’t say enough about the smell of those things.  In the pilot, we’re filming one of the scenes.  So I'm naked in a field surrounded by a film crew and actors and there's yaks.  Smelly yaks who can't NOT poop or fart, and the director tells me to just have uncontrollable lust for my co-star, and I think okay, I got an Oscar and I don't think I'm able to do this, ‘cause all I can smell is yak shit.  Now THAT’S the acting I should have gotten an Oscar for!

 (audience laughs)

 HOST:  You all do a lot of dancing in the show.  Does that come naturally?

NATALIE/IELLE:  Not for me!  And that was the first scene I had to film too.  I was so nervous and I’m buck naked in front of like fifty extras and the whole crew.  I haven’t even met most of these people and I’m flashing my pussy at Jason.  The only relaxing thing about dancing naked in front of all these extras was that they didn't speak English, and I don't think any of them knew who I was. So if I fell on my face-- which I was SURE would happen- it wouldn't haunt me forever!

I did have to get used to the nudity thing though. 

Even before we started, the producers were telling me, ‘cause they know I'm kinda particular about nudity, I have that big rider on my contract, they said “well, you know, we can just fake it with CGI”.  Apparently they did something like to Jessica Alba in Machete but that's like magazine airbrushing which I think is dubious as well, so I just said “you know, I’ll do it real breasts but you CAN'T touch 'em on the computer” and that's what we wound up doing.

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  They call us the bathrobe gang. ‘Cause all the days where we’re naked or near-naked we have bathrobes and slippers for when we weren't on camera. My work clothes are basically what I wear when I'm sick.

HOST:  Alyssa, I’ve seen a lot of rumors about you on the set.  I’m told you’d like to set the record straight. 

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Yes, thanks!  You know, I have such a rep for being a bitch and playing Mayia just isn't helping me get over that at all.  I swear I'm a nice person, really.  That scene where I had to kick Natalie, I made sure to get it by the tenth take. (laughs)

It seems like it's animosity, but between takes she's like, daring me to do more, right? ‘Cause she's a serious actress and just dives right into it, so she's like “no, harder, you can go harder” and I'm worried, ‘cause she's kind of a stick, right? I mean, she's skinny, so anyway, we do a new take and I'm like, “okay Natalie, here it comes” and I kick and I bruised her rib. She was in pain for a week and I felt SO guilty!

NATALIE/IELLE:  But you didn't feel guilty in that scene where you laughed at my boob size though. 

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Well, come on!  They don't exactly compare do they? 

(audience oooohs)

We tease, we tease, really.  It's a joke on the set, I swear.

NATALIE/IELLE:  The guys on the show are always wanting to grope my breasts, and even I'm sometimes, like, good luck, you know, if you can find 'em, more power to you.

(audience laughs)

But really, we really do get along.  How can you not get along when you spend twelve hour days naked together, right?  And let me say that Alyssa winds up coming up with a lot of her character's dialogue when it comes to our characters interacting.

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Yes, but then the writers have to make sure it fits that Janosean way of talking.  Like her character would probably want to call me ‘Titan Tits’ but that just isn’t going to fly. 

(audience laughs)

HOST:  So, Natalie, I’m told you’ve gotten more relaxed about nudity since doing this show, is that true?

NATALIE/IELLE:  Well, you can’t really do this kind of show and not relax a bit about it, you know? 

HOST:  Tell us about your wardrobe malfunction.  I know you know which one I mean.

NATALIE/IELLE:  Oh god!  So we had this big premiere, red carpet event thing, you know, and I had this incredible dress on by Montezin, he's a couture designer from France.  Anyway, so I'm standing there on the red carpet and everyone is all around and of course the flashbulbs are just going off like crazy, blam, blam, blam, you can't even think.  Then my manager comes up and takes my arm and starts hustling me off even though I was kinda in the middle of talking to Entertainment Tonight, and I'm all like, what the hell?  But you know, I've been in this business long enough to know that when they move you off, you really should go, so you know, I'm like, well, ok.

And we get out of view a little and he reaches over and STUFFS MY NIPPLE back into my dress!  My god, it had popped right out the top of this low cut dress and about a million of the paparazzi got shots of it and ET didn't even say anything, but maybe they didn't notice ‘cause they were looking at my face when we were talking and all, but I'm just Oh MY GOD!  Then my manager just laughs and says, “well, what's a little nipple when you fuck in front of the whole village in the opening”, you know?

HOST:  And on that note, we’ll take a little break and be back in a moment.

HOST:  We’re back with the ladies of the Realm of Janos.  Tell us some things we don’t know about the show.

ALI/OVIA:  We had to do so much training and research and stuff before we started filming. Yak riding (laughs), and belly dance lessons then a choreographer that makes our dances kind of a mix of belly dancing and interpretive jazz or something... anyway, we also had to go to this club, remember that?

NATALIE/IELLE:  Oh god, yeah!  It was cool, but at the same time, you don't want the whole paparazzi thing, right.  I mean, the last thing you need is all of us splashed across the Enquirer going in and out of the kinky sex club.  So, first we spent about four hours in hair and make up while they changed our hair and looks so that we wouldn't be recognized.  Then we had this consultant...

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Yeah, the consultant is really this dominant guy that lives that life and all and he took us in like we were part of his harem. We're wearing these really slinky club clothes and he's got, like, a dog collar we're each wearing-

NATALIE/IELLE:  Mine was pink.  Yours had spikes. 

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Ali's had pink spikes (laughing), anyway, he's got a leash hooked to the collars we're wearing so that, you know, no one else tries to use us or something.  So we got to see what goes on in a place like that-

ALI/OVIA:  Like you didn't know.

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Shhhh!  (laughing).  Anyway, we got to talk to some of the submissives and stuff and kinda get into their heads and all before we started filming.  Gave the, uh, dog collar to my husband on our anniversary. That was a gift.

 No James, I'm not going to tell you who wears it!

HOST:  I don’t think I want to know.  (grins)  So, you said Alyssa suggests a lot of dialogue.  Do you all have much chance to make suggestions about scenes?

NATALIE/IELLE:  Oh, yes, we can make suggestions anytime we want.  They don’t always happen, but sometimes they come back up later.  Very collaborative.

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Like for example, right in the beginning, I suggested a lesbian scene with Natalie.  Now that we’re in our third season, it is finally coming true.  They came to me and said “hey, would you consider it?”  And I was like, yeah, I'd LOVE to do a lesbian scene with Natalie, are you kidding?  It's Natalie for god's sake, it's like asking if you wanna win the lottery. And I was sure that the writers would come up with some interesting stuff for our characters to do. Plus Natalie's body double and I are good friends so I knew it'd be fun to act against each other in that capacity ‘cause when we're on camera together it's usually just inspection parade or a group scene or she'll be playing Ielle way out in the background while I'm doing something else in the foreground, so we don't really get to play on camera together much until that scene.

HOST:  Tell us more about working with body doubles. 

NATALIE/IELLE:  My body double gets so much work in this show, more than in the past, but you know, she looks great. There's some scenes I'm watching on the sidelines and even I'm like “damn.”

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Here's why I'm a better actress: Natalie and I do a lesbian scene this season, right? Well, when I'm kissing and going down on her, it's her body double. When she kisses and goes down on me, it's me. I commit.

NATALIE/IELLE:  (laughs)  Yep, she's not just better because she's got the bigger boobs.

But yeah, our body doubles take most of those shots of hands and sandals slapping on asses.  I don't do that.  At least not with a film crew standing there!

And you know, there's another of those restrictions.  If you read the original books (they're really good by the way), there's a lot more of flogging asses and even boobs and whatnot, but we just can't get that out, even on cable.  So, we'll have a smack once in a while, well, not we, but our doubles will, and we’ll imply that's what's happening, but we don't do as much of it as Alyssa would like.  (grins at Alyssa)

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Later in the year you're going to see Demi get some pretty sexy massages from her female attendant too.  Demi does most of her own naked scenes, I mean, you've seen her, right? So, they're really, really hot.  I don't want to give it all away though.  You'll have to tune in.

 NATALIE/IELLE:  I mean, everybody knows Demi for her body, but really, that's like Picasso being known for his shoes, you're missing a whole great big impressive part of her, so it was really fun getting to be in scenes with her and act off her and everything. We were only able to get her on the show for a small amount of time, but every minute was great so those are gonna be good episodes. Honestly, after, I'm worried it'll be “well, Natalie’s fine but it's not the same. Click” and that'll be it for the show! But go out on a high note, right?

HOST:  So tell us about the men on the show.

NATALIE/IELLE:  Hey, eight months of dry-humping Jason Noble, not a bad way to earn a paycheck. And like I was saying, the furs kinda were rough on our skin, so we quickly changed to doing it on top or on the floor or other places.  And I have the body double so they kept offering to put her in but I kept chiming in “uh, I can do this shot...”

Jason's totally the nicest guy in real life, very gentle, but when the camera rolls and he grabs your ass, he OWNS that ass. Jason's not a big guy, really, I mean, he's a regular guy and a little taller than usual but when he clutches your butt you think he could pick you up like a bowling ball. He's got that strength in him that was so great for Kyr and for me to act off of. He always makes sure to have his fingers on my butt whenever we were doing some power play.

Uh, one scene, we could only show a little so we shot it pretty quick, it's the scene where I'm bent over and Jason's doing me from behind in front of the entire dining hall, that came out really hot but none of our parts were touching and the pose was REALLY uncomfortable, but when we saw the playback I thought “that's hot, we need to do more."

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  They’re all great guys.  They have to be.  Hell, someone always has a hand on my tits, right?  I think the only one that hasn’t had a hand on them is Jason, since his character, Kyr, doesn’t have the time of day for my character.

I was always under the impression that my character in the book was pretty monogamous, but on the show it seems like I'm fucking EVERYBODY (chuckling). Every week we get the new script and I look in and go “well, who'm I doing this week?”


HOST:  This sounds like an excellent place to have a break.

HOST:  We’re back.  All right, let’s have some questions from your students.

STUDENT 1:  Hi, I’m Haley, 1st year drama.  I heard there were plans to have a scene where Natalie would have been on a leash and walked like a dog, what happened with that, or will we see it next season?"

ALI/OVIA:  You'll just have to tune in and see!  I won't confirm or deny it.  I'll just say that if it does happen, it might not be Natalie.  Stay tuned.  (Alyssa nods her head in the background and points at Natalie with a grin on her face).

NATALIE/IELLE:  You know, cable bought this series based on the novels but they're still really iffy about bondage and so on, which is strange, so it's one of those changes that had to be made, there's less of that, but, you know, we compensate for that in other ways. But also, I don't think they have dogs in Janos, either. At least I haven't seen one yet.

STUDENT 2:  Wesley, 2nd year actor.  I was wondering how realistic you get about Janosean things. 

NATALIE/IELLE:  As much as we can actually.  Check in the credits, you'll notice that not only do we have hair and make up, we have our own waxing pro right on the set!  It's in our contract that we have to keep that little tuft that the girls in the book have and lose the rest.

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Lemme tell you, we only agreed to it if the dudes had to do the same. And boy did THEY complain!

(audience laughs)

STUDENT 3:  Barry, I just graduated a month ago and I’m out there trying to get my break.  You mentioned reading the script and, well, did you want to fuck the entire village?

NATALIE/IELLE:  Hey, like we said, those guys are pretty hot!  Well, not the Council so much, but the rest of them!  Oh, sorry Malcolm, you're an exception of course! (giggles)  Anyway, there's a scene in the books where Kyr's Ummi, Kaiu, Helen Mirren, takes on the entire Council one after the other.  I don't think we'll get that graphic with that one though, but there will be something to represent that in some way, I think.

And also, with the whole village, a lot of those extras don't speak English, so we couldn't really explain to them what's going on.  We might really muck up their impressions of Americans, you know?

STUDENT 4:  I’m Doug, a big fan of all you.  Really.  You talked about the R rating versus the triple X thing.  Since we don’t get a full frontal in the series, how about giving us one right now?

NATALIE/IELLE:  (laughs)  You didn't pay enough for your ticket, dude.  Maybe next time.  Elizabeth Taylor had a diamond that Nicky Hilton got for her, the Krupp Diamond.  Thirty-three carats.  Bring that over and we'll talk.

(audience awwww)

STUDENT 5:  So, Natalie, hi, I'm Theresa, a 3rd year drama student, oh my god, I can't believe I'm getting to ask you a question and I really can't believe the question I'm going to ask...

NATALIE/IELLE:  Go ahead, Theresa.

STUDENT 5:  Well, the series is pretty hot right?  So, when you read the scripts, especially when you first got them and everything, I mean, well, did they make you, you know, you said you were sitting there in bed, alone and ... well, you know!

NATALIE/IELLE:  (blushes)  Oh, well, uh, let's just say that method acting draws upon experience and real emotion so there was a fair amount of uh, research involved.  And then, you know, after I "researched" for a while, I just had to have to the part.  I was on the phone to my agent and said “listen, you get me this part”.  And he was like, “how come you sound out of breath?”

(audience laughs)

HOST:  Alyssa, are you also a method actor? 

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  (laughs)  As I said before, I commit.  Fully.  And I rehearse.  A lot.  (audience laughs)  Not Ali though.  She's the goody two shoes of the bunch. 

ALI/OVIA:  That's what you think.  I just act like a goody two shoes.  I'm such a good actress, you don't even know.

NATALIE/IELLE:  Uh, yeah, we know.  Like that time when you had to shoot your first scene in the furs...

ALI/OVIA:  Well, his hand was COLD and I didn't expect it to land quite... there.  He was fine after they got him an ice pack.  I didn't mean for my knee... it was just a reflex.

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  Sure, sure! 

(more laughter)

HOST:  Natalie, my sources tell me that there’s more to the “research” story than you’re letting on.  Share it with us, please.

NATALIE/IELLE:  Ok, ok, I'll tell you all, but this is off the record.  If this ends up in the Enquirer, I'll hunt you all down. I swear.

So, I'm laying in bed, I've got my pint of coffee flavored Haagen Das and my spoon.  And I start reading this thing and within a couple lines, I'm Ielle.  I'm this girl, sheltered, trained, doing my duty and all, and here I am, naked, in front of the whole fucking village.  And I'm going to meet my mate for the first time and I'm hoping like hell he's going to take me 'cause if he doesn't, it just isn't going to be good for me, plus, you know, I want him to want me.

And, I'm so into the world that's there, I can feel this weird blue dirt on my feet, the sun shining down, nipples perking, walking towards him.  And there's the guy.  Jason Noble, what a hunk.  I've never laid eyes on him before and I get this zing of feeling, in my heart and in my pussy.  I can just feel him, making a connection with him and I'm Ielle, starting to get a bit wet and Natalie, getting a bit wet too.

So, I lick my ice cream off my spoon and it is sooo cold, I slide it onto my nipple, I don't know what exactly came over me.  That nipple just hardened up and I could feel it like I was there.  So I got it all cold again in another spoon of ice cream and did the other too.  So, I'm still reading and this is getting hotter and hotter, I'm breathing hard in real life, just like she would be in the story.  And I'm picturing acting it out.

Next thing I know, my fingers are down on my pussy and they're just working at my clit.  I'm imagining Jason, Kyr, doing that to me, Ielle.  Then he's fucking her, shoving his hard cock into her and I'm shoving my fingers in instead like he'd be doing me.  I'm panting and thrusting, my hips are coming up off the bed and I'm just about to pop and damn.

My agent calls.  You like the script?  I'm all, YOU GET ME THIS PART.  I don't care what you have to do, you GET ME THIS PART.  He’s like why are you out of breath? 

And here we are.  Number one show on cable.

(audience applauds and several fan themselves)

HOST:  That will just be between us, we’ll edit that before it airs.  Promise.

STUDENT 6:  Tracy Kennedy, 2nd year comedy... gosh, this is so exciting, I watch all of you every week and this is really a question, I guess for any of you.  So, do the guys like really get... well, you know, excited when you're doing those scenes?  What do you do about that?

NATALIE/IELLE:  Yes, well, the first couple of times you just laugh about it and keep going.  Now, I know we've got something really good going though.  Not just Jason all hot and bothered, but you look up and there's the camera crew, grip, best boy, director, and every one of them is shifting around.  None of them wear those skin tight pants to work, let me tell you!  I mean, of course it happens, because there you are, with next to nothing on, laying on top of the guy or bent over or prancing around topless... and those dances, man, those get all of us hot.  All of us hit the showers after those.  They always schedule those at the end of the day because none of us are any good after that point.

ALI/OVIA:  You know, one of the cool things about this show is that it isn't as much dialogue as a lot of other shows.  Sometimes I film all week and don't really have a lot more to say than erotic moans and whimpers.

STUDENT 7:  Now, I know the show won't let you show the guy's gear... and we're all saddened by that, but you've found interesting ways around that, but I heard there was a story about the scene where you were sucking off Kyr's fingers, when he came back from the hunt, but we never really heard the whole story about what happened behind the scenes.

NATALIE/IELLE:  Well, sucking fingers in real life can be pretty erotic, but when there's fifty people watching and filming and saying “move your ass a little to left while you do it” it does kinda take some of the fun out of it.   So, after like the fourth take the energy was starting to drop a bit, so Jason got a quick five minute break, then he comes back and I go to town. 

And man, I nearly lost it right there, but I recovered and you see that little burst of surprise in my eyes in the close up, because I didn't know he'd gone out and gotten his fingers covered with some sort of flavored KY gel stuff.  Man, it did taste good though and it really added to the scene 'cause I'm licking and sucking to get every bit off.  I've got no idea why he keeps flavored KY around, but hey, it works for me! 


We've used it several times now.  I'll put some on a part he's licking and vice versa.  We surprise each other with different flavors just for fun.

STUDENT 8:  Question for you Ali, what’s your favorite of the sexy scenes?

My fave was that girl on girl between Natalie and Alyssa.  Hell, that was everyone's fave.  We not only had to have a closed set, we had to do it in secret.  They put a different scene on the boards, then snuck Alyssa on with Natalie's double and then Natalie did a few shots, then Alyssa and the double went at it- well, in a committed kind of way.  The guys were just a mess afterwards and the girls too.

HOST:  Final question from our students.

STUDENT 9:   Hi!  I’m Brian.  I know the PC police came down pretty hard on you all and you had to scrap this whole "I love being your slave" monologue thing, any chance we could get a taste of how that was supposed to go?

ALYSSA/MAYIA:  You may not have noticed but the Janoseans don't have a word for "love".  They don't say they love each other, they don't love ice cream.  Whatever.  Instead, they show it.  Actions speak louder than words in Janos.  But the scene was supposed to be Natalie on her knees at Jason's feet, naked of course, but we only get her back and then close ups on her face and a little profile now and then... and she says...


(Natalie gets on her knees before the students, takes a breath, becomes Ielle)

Kyr, you see my true heart. 

You make me all that I am and want to be. 

You fill my days, you give me purpose. 

You bring me to heights I could not dream to reach. 

I am what I am meant to be, totally yours. 


(audience is completely silent then breaks into applause. 

Natalie blinks then continues as herself.)

Well, what a fucking uproar.  I mean, Rene Zellweger can say that Jerry "completes" her, but we can't say it like this.  And it's ok if we flip it, if Kyr needs Ielle to get through his day of being a Hausa, that's good.  But if she says it, we've got 3/4 of the women in America and a bunch of the ones world wide pitching a fit. So we had to scrap a whole bunch of that instead.  And we had to flip the BJ at the end for a good fur covered romp.

(fade to black, credits roll)

~The End~

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